A Mindful Response to Lust

As you know, the topic of lust is something that often comes up when one starts to talk about porn addiction and/or sexual integrity. And why wouldn’t it? After all, lust is often the precursor to the poor sexual decisions we sometimes make. Similarly, the other...

Aligning Our Thoughts With Our Values

One of the things I’m often reminded of about the recovery journey is that it’s anything but static. There’s a constant state of movement and change going on every day for the person who has made the decision to get healthy. For the man or woman who for years has been...

Help! I’m Not Attracted to My Spouse

A couple weeks ago I got an email from one of our small group leaders. He asked me if we had written anything on the topic of attraction that he could share with his group members who have shared that they’ve lost some sense of physical attraction for their spouse. ...

How Do I Know If It’s Lust (And How Do I Stop?)

Springtime is my favorite time of year. The days begin to get longer, the flowers are blooming, and it means summer is coming. And let’s face it, as the weather starts to get warmer, women start to wear less clothing (sometimes a lot less). This can be a challenge for...

What is Reverse Objectification?

Last week I wrote about the differences between attraction and lust. And in that post I said that lust is wrong, it is a choice, and it should be avoided. Yes, I know. “Thank you Captain Obvious.”  That said, when we understand the difference between attraction and...

The Difference Between Noticing and Objectifying

The following definitions come from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Notice: to become aware of (something or someone)  Objectify: to treat as an object or cause to have objective reality Why have I shared these definitions with you? Too often, those in recovery – both...